holiday season

i’ve always been someone obsessed with the holidays. i’m a pretty jovial kind of person. i smile easily. i laugh easily. i can get really happy really quickly. i find the holidays hold an incredibly romantic notion to them. i know there are cynics out there who believe that at all times of year we should appreciate the gifts we have been given, be kind to our neighbor and so forth, but i feel that the holidays bring a kind of magic to it. it unearths innocence and a childish spirit.

i am an incredible romantic. despite being happy about this past weekend, i found myself shy saturday morning, quiet and already slightly attached. and for anyone who knows me, they know i am not a shy type of person. i am extremely friendly, but i’ve put myself out there so fast and trust so easily, that now with this comes some incredbile insecurity at times.

mix all these components, along with a rather lonely and slightly sad holiday (due to me being so far away from family and/or old friends), and i’m in an extremely vulnerable state right now.

despite all this, i don’t mean this in a way where i want sympathy or anything. i am so grateful and lucky for what i have. i’ll count my blessings any day. i wish others could be so lucky.

i hope people forget about what they want or what they don’t have, and remember what they do have, where they are, who they love and who love them. i hope they make a pact with themselves to only help themselves in ways to better their spirit, heart and peace of mind and try to improve those around them and our world. one song that has always inspires me, and some ways helped me adjust to living out here is lee ann womack’s “i hope you dance.” it kind of reminds me of my favorite quote by ralph waldo emerson.

*”To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”* -Ralph Waldo Emerson
ok, i promise: i’m done with cheeseball for tonight.